Saturday, July 7, 2007

Don't cry, it's just Net Neutrality

It was relatively early in the morning, and I wished to read a few things on Digg. I fired up the old internet machine and started tooling around the tubes, looking for interesting tidbits... and that's when it hit me. A Digg post about the FTC abandoning Net Neutrality, leaving it up to the private sector to figure out. That's a terrible idea. But out of this terrible idea came a question that makes my heart sink:

What about the lolcats?

I worry for the future of the lolcats, and the rest of their lolfriends, with all of this Net Neutrality blahblah going on. Is it really their fault for existing on a server and generating so much traffic and hysteria? No, it's not. And they will suffer for it, in the end.

But before I digress too far, I want to explain lolcats. Basically, if you don't know what lolcats is, stop reading this blog. I don't care about you, in this venue. I'm not here to entertain or inform you. I am here to make light of a completely serious subject, FAR too soon. And anyway, if you're reading this you probably know a lolcat or two.

I believe that lolcats is truly a reflection of our society as a whole. We demonstrate incredible stupidity in what we say, and although we may indeed be sincere... it is that lack of an efficient and intelligent form of communication that drove us to the intarweb anyway. We sought to share ideas more efficiently between highly intelligent researchers, and then eventually this evolved into sharing ideas on a massive scale. Which leads to blogs, and wikipedias, and lolcats. In blogs, one person is sharing his or her opinion on any number of subjects where he or she may not be an expert. It doesn't really matter, because opinions are information and valid regardless of whether they be on a subject such as dark matter or the latest episode of House.

In wikis, the idea is different. Use the collective knowledge of the universe to create a depository of ALL knowledge, using self-checking as a control. Don't Panic on the cover, of course.

Lolcats, however, is the purest form of computer usage and the internet. It is a complete waste of space, a complete waste of time, and can be created by anyone with access to a photo editor and a cat. Or a picture of a cat. Hell, my coworkers have access to photoshop at work and have created lolcats, and they don't even know what Net Neutrality is. And lolcats have been created referencing everything from cheeseburgers to aliens. A cross-section of American pop-culture. Easily created by even the most simple of computer users.

THUS, when lolcats are lost due to a lack of net neutrality... we have lost the internet wars.

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